Most people do not wake up every morning wondering how they can make my life worse. As a matter of fact, most people don’t wake up thinking about me at all. They are thinking about their life, their day to day things that they need to do. They are thinking about their family, God, work, kids, errands they have to run, COFFEE- but rarely do they wake up thinking of me in particular. I know this, but some days I think that they just MUST be plotting all night on how to make me feel bad, or feel bad about myself. It is like, everything that I do is judged by someone. It isn’t always the same person either. The thing is- most these people don’t intentionally hurt me. They have plans with me, and life gets in the way. They mean to call but never do. They see me at walmart and don’t stop and talk. They make an arbitrary comment in person or e-mail or on my Facebook status that makes me feel like a bad mom, a bad wife or an all around bad person.
I know that I am not a bad person, but hearing (or reading) what other people think of me, or my opinions sometimes makes me want to crawl into a hole and hide for the day. There are a lot of times that I double, triple, quadrouple what I just said to someone and how it most likely made them feel. There are also times that I don’t think twice about what I said or wrote and could have made someone feel completely awful about everything.
E-mail and Facebook have really opened up a can of worms too since people can’t hear the tone that you are saying anything in. It hurts when people don’t respond to emails, comments or take themselves off pictures or pages or don’t like pages that you have suggested to them. It hurts even worse when you have found out that you have unintentionally hurt someone and they fire back at you. It is so easy to be discouraged and to think that I am doing something wrong or it is all about me or I made them feel bad when in reality, that is SO SELFISH!!!!!!
I am not the center of the universe just like they aren’t mine. Their worlds don’t revolve around me and they shouldn’t. The only person that they and we should put that kind of faith into is God. It hurts when someone says something mean or does something mean! I know that I become really defensive when you hit close to a nerve that I fail in often or are trying really hard at and can’t seem to succeed at.
I think that it all comes back to confidence. I have to be confident. Philippians 1:3-6 says “I thank my God every time I remember you, in all my prayers for all of you I always pray with joy because of the partnership in the gospel from this first day until now, being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”
So I need to be confident that, if I am following God and seeking his will and living my life In HIM and living out his “good work” that He started in me, that he will continue to carry it on to completion. That means that I can’t screw it up!
I also need to be sure that when I am lifting people up in prayer, it isn’t to really tear them down. I need to pray with joy! I think that this even extends to those that we don’t have a partnership in the gospel with. I think that we need to pray with joy for everyone. Thank the Lord for the good in that person and ask that He continue to grow it and that these “mean” people will see His ways. I think that most people don’t intentionally go out of their way to hurt me, or anyone. I think that it is just a side effect of the world that we live in.
Lord, I pray that I will be confident in you, that I will seek our ways and be sure that I am following them. I pray that the confidence will not be arrogance, or come across that way, but that I will know that I am YOUR child, beautifully and wonderfully made- that you knit me together in my mother’s womb and you have a plan and a purpose for my life. I pray when I feel torn down by the world, I turn to You and no one else. I follow your will, your path and your love to guide me. In Jesus’s Name, amen.
Hebrews 10:35-36 ”So do not throw away your confidence; it will be richly rewarded. You need to preserver so that when you have done the will of God, you will receive what he has promised.”
LOL was this by chance inspired by someone..;-). First it breaks my heart to hear that you get hurt, but guess what I feel the same way. I wear my heart on my sleeve, try to do for others and often feel stepped on, rejected. (Notes to self: put God on a pedestal, no one else, do not rely on others to make you happy, turn to God always)I think you are wonderful and while I do not plot against anyone, I can be opinionated and that offends people & makes me appear judgmental (thinking of getting that tattooed on my forehead so people know ahead of time what they are getting into..lol, joking aside) I do my best to wake up & immediately start focusing/praying for others. Asking God to guide, guard & direct my thoughts, words, footsteps & actions. I get very disappointed in myself when I slip up and get off path. Remind myself to repent, ask forgiveness and learn from my mistakes. Bless you for putting into words what some (me) needed to hear. Luv ya!
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