Father’s day is Sunday! HORRAY!!! I was blessed with an amazing Dad. I love my Dad! He is so special to me and so wonderful. I look at my dad and just know how incredibly blessed I am to have had a dad at all and to have had such a great daddy. Many of my friends didn’t have a dad or had a dad that was absent, and I am sorry for that. I also work with a lot of clients that have abusive dads and that just isn’t cool either! I am also extremely lucky to have my daddy still with us on Earth and not in heaven. To those who are suffering with the loss of their father this day, I am thinking of you for sure! This is actually a devotion about how to honor your parents even if they were bad ones.
But first, back to bragging on my dad… J I remember for on of my birthdays, and I can’t remember what one, he and my mom conspired a huge surprise for me. He woke me up really early in the morning before my birthday, (like 5 am!) and told me to get in the car. My mom had to stay at home with my baby sister. There was no telling me where we were going or what we were up to- so I was sitting there thinking – I am getting a CAR!!!! No way – I get to go to the dealership (since we knew the owner of one) and get my new CAR!!! So as we approached the dealership, my hands were getting sweaty with anticipation, my voice was going up a few octaves and my dad, who lets face it – is a little unobservant, didn’t realize that I was getting excited. So we got closer and my heart was pounding and I was expecting him to turn off at the exit to get my new car. And we PASSED it! What would be better than a car?
My dad told me to go ahead and sleep since we had a long car ride ahead. Yeah right- sleep?!?!?! I am too excited about my surprise! He obviously didn’t get me- hahaha. Then I had to ask him about my job and school, since I would be missing it today if it was a long drive and I was informed that I was not to worry about it. Again – he didn’t get me ;-). Finally we stopped to eat breakfast and he wanted me to take a turn driving so he told me where we were going. He was taking me to New York City for my birthday and we were going to go and see Phantom of the Opera on BROADWAY!
For a theater and choir geek like me, this was HUGE. This was the biggest thing that had ever happened for my birthday – EVER (and still is). So now he expected me to be able to drive there with all this anticipation gathered up? Was he nuts? He also told me that we were to spend a few days there and that he had talked with school and my boss to get me off without a problem. We were staying in a friend of the family’s flat right off central park. The next few days my daddy and I got to spend some quality daddy daughter time. It was awesome. We saw Phantom- AMAZING! We also saw Annie Get your Gun and went to some amazing restaurants, hung out at central park – got me an I ♥ NY shirt.
When we were there he said something to the effect, I should have brought one of your friends, you would have had a lot more fun. Looking back, I am so glad that he didn’t bring another of my friends, I had a great time with one of my favorite people ever! So with that long story, I will get to what my devos were about today.
It is Father’s day tomorrow, and one of our commandments is to “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land your God is giving you.” (Ex 20:12). Some fathers, like mine, make honoring them so easy. They make it fun to have a dad like that. But not all dads are as amazing as mine is, some are REALLY hard to honor. I work with clients all the time who’s dads have abused them, or neglect them or just aren’t there. How do you honor someone that has hurt you? How do you honor someone you have very little respect for- and who deserves very little respect?
Our pastor, Mike Snow, has said that it is important to “honor the one not present”. Don’t say anything behind someone’s back that you wouldn’t say to their faces. Don’t gossip or speak ill of someone when they don’t have the opportunity to defend themselves or to know what is going on. So for those people with abusive or absentee parents, be honest, you don’t have to tell any lies and pretend that they are great or wonderful because frankly, it stinks that you didn’t get to grow up with a loving daddy- but at the same time, there is no reason to bash them either.
The Bible tells in Colossians 3:8-20 “But now you must rid yourselves of all such thins as these; anger, rage, malice, slander, and filthy language from your lips…. (13) Bear with each other and forgive whatever grievances you may have against one another. Forgive as the Lord forgave you…(15) Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, since as members of one body you were called to peace. And be thankful…”
There are all sorts of verses on why not to be angry and bitter. I have a dear friend who’s dad was very absent during her childhood, but it has made her who she is today and she is thankful and loving and is honest about him, but not mean.
Perfectly said! Great wisdom, thank you for sharing it!
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