It is so easy to get discouraged by our every day lives. Everything that Is going on and everything that is surrounding us. The sad news, the super stress from work, home, church or whatever. I find myself thinking – in this circumstance, it is okay to complain. I am justified in this! Today is my birthday and for years and years I have always wanted a huge to-do over it. I have always wanted flowers, balloons, a surprise party, my friends wanting to spend every minute with me. But lets be realistic. That rarely if ever happens.
One year – back when I was MUCH younger – I remember making plans with two separate friends to do something on this, my special day. I had told both of them that it was my birthday and that I just wanted to do something fun. Well that day arrived, and my one friend called and said that she wasn’t going to be able to make it. She didn’t even say happy birthday or anything. She didn’t seem to care one way or another. She just wasn’t in the mood to go out. So there I was, alone on my birthday – I was devastated. I was crushed. Here, someone that considers themselves a good friend to me, just blew me off on MY day!!! On MY DAY?!?!? My hope was that my time out with my second friend was going to be so awesome that it made up for my first friend’s negligence.
This was before facebook or even myspace that reminded you when people’s birthdays were and kept you on schedule. So there I was, I was all spruced up and ready to go to a movie and dinner with my second friend. They were supposed to pick me up at 5. As 5:00 approached I sat next to the window in anticipation of the evening’s events. Then 5:00 passed, and then 5:30 passed. I was devastated. Not only had my one friend blown me off, my second friend stood me up. Could this really be happening? I cried so hard that day. I remember sitting there thinking – this is my birthday- a day that we are supposed to be celebrating ME and no one seems to care!
My parents did what they could, I got into my car, drove to the video rental place (also before netflix or on-demand) and rented me some good old fashioned movies. The kind with Jerry Lewis and Dean Martin. My mom ordered Chinese food and we sat there and watched old movies, laughed and ate Chinese all night long! It ended up being a great birthday because not only had it bonded me with my mom, who has her birthday the day before mine, but it made me realize a few things.
People will always disappoint you. Friends are wonderful and necessary to have and, I may have the best friend in the world- but they are going to disappoint me. Now I mean this as no offense to my friends- they are amazing and wonderful people, but when you put all your hope and feelings on one person, that is like putting them on a pedestal. People are flawed and they aren’t perfect. Like saying that they are in charge of our happiness, when we should be in charge of our happiness. The Bible says in 1st Thessalonians 5:16 “be joyful always pray continually and give thanks in all circumstances for this is the will of Christ Jesus.” So will I let one person rob me of my joy? Of my happiness? Will I put all my faith in these people.
Friends come and go – it is something that I have learned and re-learned and get burnt and re-burnt every year and all the time. I love my friends that I have now, but I also know that if I were to move, many of these friends would be lost. It is sad, but it is a fact of life. I only have one or two close friends remaining from high school and hardly any from my time in college. Friends change- a good friend, even if they DO forget your birthday EVERY YEAR, is worth a lot. As we grow apart from people it reminds me that Jesus only had one or two good friends.
Jesus had thousands of people willing to follow him, he had people wanting to be his disciples all the time, but when push came to shove, he surrounded himself with 12 of his closest friends. The ones that shared the same common goal with Him and only 2 or 3 of those friends were his “best” friends. Plus, even Jesus’ best friends didn’t stay true and loyal to him either. Peter disowned him and the others scattered after he had been arrested. Jesus forgave them and so we should still love them, as Jesus loved us – Love is patient, kind, self sacrificing, keeps no records of wrongs.
So instead of placing my happiness on my friends, I have learned that I need to place my happiness in the Lord. Friends and people are still very important, but if I get upset every time someone isn’t a good friend, then I have let them be in control of my joy. Joy is a choice and happiness usually follows.
Jesus can be that friend that you can fall back on every time that you are disappointed- He wants to be there for you. Just like my mom and dad were there for me the day my birthday sucked, our heavenly Father wants to be there for us when we have bad days and to lift us up. On days that I feel down trodden and upset, I just need to turn to my love letter from God, the Bible, and read it.
Just what my thirsty soul needed, a good dose of reality about people! Disappointing and my mistake of letting them (putting them on a pedestal)
ReplyDeleteThank you Cat for reminding me that I, myself am in charge of my happiness:) and it can be found in the Lord!