Conviction

Lying in bed in the middle of the afternoon, I was breathing, worried about what was actually wrong with my chest.  Was I having a heart attack for the past few days?  Was it actually heartburn?  I lied there and gave my pain to Jesus.  I asked Him to let me know if I should go to the hospital or stay at home.  As I lie there, I felt my rib cage and found a muscle that was inflamed.  About a year ago I had similar pain, not quite so intense, that was diagnosed as Pleurisy, a build up of fluid between the lungs and the rib cage.  I didn’t think it could be that again since I was unable to eat, but I took an anti-inflammatory (which usually chews up my stomach).  I fell asleep for as long as a mom actually gets to fall asleep when her kids are in “quiet time” that usually ends up being not-so-quiet.  I was woken up less than 10 minutes later.  After about an hour, I was in so much less pain it was amazing.  I was ready to eat again, and eat I did! 

God really convicted me.  I have been talking about what He has been teaching me through the episode that I have been facing.  I talk a good talk, but I don’t always give it to God at the beginning.  I think I can handle it, I don’t need help, so I don’t give my own sickness or situations to God.  Most times, I give my day to God, but I have always felt silly asking for His healing and help in my own life.  I have no problems going to Him for others, but for myself, I just don’t do it.  How weird is that?   

John 5

2 Now there is in Jerusalem by the sheep gate a pool, which is called in Hebrew Bethesda, having five porticoes. 3 In these lay a multitude of those who were sick, blind, lame, and withered, [waiting for the moving of the waters; 4 for an angel of the Lord went down at certain seasons into the pool and stirred up the water; whoever then first, after the stirring up of the water, stepped in was made well from whatever disease with which he was afflicted.] 5 A man was there who had been ill for thirty-eight years. 6 When Jesus saw him lying there, and knew that he had already been a long time in that condition, He said to him, “Do you wish to get well?” 7 The sick man answered Him, “Sir, I have no man to put me into the pool when the water is stirred up, but while I am coming, another steps down before me.” 8 Jesus said to him, “Get up, pick up your pallet and walk.” 9 Immediately the man became well, and picked up his pallet and began to walk.

Jesus can and does still sometimes supernaturally heal people.  We can be like the guy in story.  We believe that he can do these things, but we figure that we have to do it ourselves.  We have to get ourselves into the healing water.  How many times have I gone to do something and not asked for Jesus to take charge of it?  How many times have I tried to be all that I can be, the best Christian, but not put Jesus in charge.  If I just let Jesus take charge and give Him control and have faith in Him, then how different would my life be?