Friendship

Friendship- what a difficult word to explain. Yesterday, my friend posted on Facebook that she wanted a friendship and didn’t want just someone to small talk with and it got me thinking.  Friendships are hard.  You would think with all the social media and the constant access to communication, friendships would be easy.  It would be easy to say you have 300+ friends, because that is how many you follow or are friends with on Facebook.  In reality however, those aren’t the deep friendships that you cultivate and make-work. 

A lot of times I will meet someone and think that I want to be friends with her.  We start off strong, hanging out, having our kids play, sharing and talking, but within a few months, we don’t get to hang out any more, we don’t see each other often, and we aren’t able to understand why we are no longer close friends with them because life has taken over.  Friendship requires effort.  A good friendship or relationship just doesn’t happen. 

As a woman, I desire to have close relationships and friendships, to share and be shared with.  Obviously, I seek this with my God and with my amazingly wonderful husband, but women seek out other women a lot of times to have these relationships with.  (If a woman seeks out a man for this kind of relationship, there could be issues with marriage etc… but that is a different blog…) 

I struggle when I see someone that I want to be friends with having this amazing friendship with someone else.  I get frustrated when life and busyness gets in the way.  I have only a small handful close friends right now, but I have so many other potential ones that it is so hard.  I hate having to pick and choose whom I am going to be able to spend time with and invest effort into the relationship.  Often times, I choose to invest my time on Facebook or the ultimate time-sucker, Pintrest, instead of investing in a real relationship.  I think that it is because REAL relationships and friendships are hard. 

Our Christian Radio Station was talking about love this morning.  They were talking about it in terms of marriage, but it relates to friendship too. 

"Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, always perseveres.  Love never fails."

1 Corinthians 13

I want to be patient as God shows me who to cultivate relationships with, understanding that my friends are just people too and I am not the center of their world. I don’t want to envy someone else’s relationship with them, or brag about our friendship to everyone.  I don’t want to build a friendship that is based on talking behind someone’s back or bashing someone, I don’t want to keep a record of offenses that person has done to me or delight when bad things happen that benefit my friendship.  I want to protect, trust and hope for that person.  I need to pray and never fail that person. 

My prayer is that God shows who to develop relationships with, who to invest time and who God wants in my life.  My prayer is that you see this all too.